Uber Stock: The real deal on its price and earnings

Uber's Stock: Is the Hype Real, or Just Another Silicon Valley Mirage?

Alright, let's talk Uber. Shares up 51% this year? Give me a break. In what universe does that make sense when half the country is one missed paycheck away from living under a bridge?

The "Marketplace" of Misery

They call it a "marketplace," this Uber thing. Cute. I call it a digital sweatshop where drivers are one algorithm tweak away from making less than minimum wage. "Matching supply and demand," they say. More like squeezing every last drop of productivity out of desperate people trying to make ends meet.

And the fees? Don't even get me started. Uber skims off the top while the drivers eat ramen and pray their car doesn't break down. This whole "gig economy" is just a fancy way of saying "exploiting labor with a smile."

They tout those gross booking numbers – $25.1 billion for mobility, $23.3 billion for delivery. Big deal. How much of that actually trickles down to the people doing the actual work? I'm betting pennies on the dollar.

Plus, let's be real, the only reason Uber "resonates" with people is because it's convenient. It's not because they give a damn about the customer, it's cause people are lazy and impatient and will pay extra to avoid waiting for a bus.

Billionaire Backers and Analyst BS

Oh, and Bill Ackman's got a big stake? So what? Billionaires get richer, that's their whole thing. It doesn't mean Uber's a good investment for you. He's probably got some tax dodge scheme cooked up that benefits him regardless of whether the stock tanks.

And the analysts? Twenty firms with "buy" ratings? You know those ratings are about as reliable as a politician's promise. They're all just trying to curry favor with Uber's management so they can get a piece of the next IPO.

And what's with these price targets? $110, $122, even $135? Are these people living on the same planet as the rest of us? Or are they just high on hopium?

Speaking of hopium, remember when everyone was creaming their jeans over NVDA stock? Now everyone's all like "wait, maybe AI ain't gonna solve world hunger after all..."

Autonomous Vehicles: The Real Threat

The Morningstar analysis mentions autonomous vehicles (AVs) as an "open capital expenditure question." That's putting it mildly. It's an existential threat. Once self-driving cars become the norm, what happens to all those drivers Uber's "marketplace" depends on? They're screwed, that's what. According to After Earnings, Is Uber Stock a Buy, a Sell, or Fairly Valued?, the rise of autonomous vehicles is a key factor in evaluating Uber's long-term prospects.

Uber thinks "private equity will step up" to own the AVs? That's not a strategy, that's wishful thinking. It's like saying "unicorns will solve climate change."

And this "narrow moat" rating based on network effects? Please. Network effects are only as strong as the network itself. If a better, cheaper alternative comes along, people will jump ship faster than you can say "Lyft." (Which, offcourse, ain't doing so hot either.)

The real question is, what happens when Tesla's Robotaxis take over? Or Waymo? Uber's just gonna be a middleman getting squeezed.

Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe Uber is the future. Maybe I should just shut up and buy some shares.

Nah.

So, What's the Catch?

It's all smoke and mirrors. Uber's still burning cash, the "gig economy" is a scam, and the whole thing is one technological disruption away from collapsing. Invest if you want, but don't say I didn't warn you.