Pizza: Best in DC and Shop Shutdowns

Generated Title: Pizza Economics: From Maryland's Slice of DC to Shutdown Charity

Montgomery County, Maryland, is apparently a pizza hotspot. Eater DC (which, last I checked, focuses on DC, not its suburbs) just released its "Best Pizza Places in D.C." list, and five of the honorees are from Maryland. Specifically, Montgomery County. Inferno Pizzeria Napoletana, M&N’s Pizza, AP Pizza, Andy’s Pizza, and Red Hound Pizza all made the cut.

Pizza States of America

Now, I'm not saying these places aren't good. I haven't tried them all. But five out of a "best of DC" list coming from one Maryland county? That raises an eyebrow. Are DC's pizza standards slipping, or is MoCo secretly subsidizing the pizza industry (the county, not the movie)?

Inferno gets the most hype, lauded for its Neapolitan style. M&N’s goes global with Korean BBQ and Thai Chicken Curry toppings (which, I admit, sounds intriguing). AP Pizza is a New York/New Jersey hybrid, and Andy’s is expanding, with new locations slated for Montgomery Mall and the Kentlands. Red Hound focuses on local ingredients.

The real question here: what's the unit economics of these pizzerias? How much are they really making? We get the PR fluff about "chef-driven" this and "community-focused" that, but what are the margins? Are these places actually profitable, or are they passion projects funded by silent partners who made their real money in, say, government contracting? (Just a thought.)

And this is the part of the report that I find genuinely puzzling. The article mentions "chef-driven Neapolitan pies to creative fusion slices," but if they are so good, why are they in Maryland, and not DC? Is the rent cheaper? Are there fewer regulations? Is there a secret pizza-chef training program at Montgomery College that I don't know about? I’d love to see a cost-benefit analysis of opening a pizzeria in MoCo versus DC. According to Five Maryland Pizzerias Make “Best Pizza Places in D.C.” List, these restaurants are indeed some of the best.

A Slice of Charity

Speaking of economics, let's shift gears to Wisconsin. Sliced Pizza Company in Scandinavia (yes, that's a real place) is offering free ten-inch pizzas to families impacted by the government shutdown and potential SNAP benefit delays. One pizza per individual, two per family, with proof of need.

Owner Lisa Shirek says it’s inspired by her own experience with food insecurity. "We were not well-off or as well off as other families, so having a free pizza was a big deal." They're also offering a "tag" system where customers can donate a menu item to someone in need.

Here’s the thing: this isn't just a feel-good story. It's a stark reminder of the fragility of the social safety net. A pizza shop is stepping in to fill the gap left by government dysfunction. That’s… concerning.

How much is this costing Shirek, though? A ten-inch pizza probably has a food cost of, say, $3 (at most). Labor is the real expense. But the PR value? Priceless. It's a smart move, both from a charitable and a business perspective. I wonder what her ROI will be from this? I'm guessing she'll see a 20% increase in sales, maybe closer to 25% if she plays it right.

Chair Melee

Finally, a quick detour to New Jersey. Apparently, someone got hit with a chair at a pizza shop. The article is mostly about cookie tracking policies, which is a weird non sequitur (but the article is from NBC, so who knows).

The actual news—buried beneath layers of legalese about "HTTP cookies" and "Flash local storage"—is that the police are looking for a pair involved in an assault. Details are scarce (I'm being generous). It's unclear why the chair was thrown, or what the motive was. Was it a dispute over toppings? A gambling debt gone wrong? We may never know.

This raises a broader question: what's the correlation between pizza consumption and violent crime? I'm not saying there is a correlation, but I'm also not not saying it. Someone should run the numbers.

The Real Crisis: Pizza-Related Violence

The Maryland pizzerias are probably fine, the Wisconsin shop is doing good work (and good marketing), but the New Jersey incident… that's a symptom of a deeper problem. We need better data on pizza-related violence. That’s where the real story lies.